IMPORT: And that was Adam and the Ants doing Red Scab, those wacky boys. That’s off the bootleg album of the same name, so if you’re looking for more, by all means, get your hot little hand on your mouse and steal it as soon as possible. What you’re doing with your other hand is entirely your own business, you naughty perv. And now, as promised, I have a very special visitor. Ladies and scoundrels, because you demanded it, and because I’ve worked so tirelessly to make it happen—

DR. JACKAL: Tell me about it.

IMPORT: --it is with great pleasure that I announce…the Doctor is in the house. Dr. Jackal, live and oh-so-hairy! Welcome, Doctor!

DR. JACKAL: Thank you, Import. Call me Jack.

IMPORT: And by all means, call me Cassandra.

DR. JACKAL: Okay.

IMPORT: Some of us aren’t so big into the secrets as others.

DR. JACKAL: Touché.

IMPORT: How ARE you?

DR. JACKAL: I’m good.

IMPORT: We are all so very pleased that you’re here.

DR. JACKAL: And…it’s good to be here.

IMPORT: You know you’re one of my most requested interviews?

DR. JACKAL: Really?

IMPORT: Yes, really, what do you think?

DR. JACKAL: Well, I just figured, being retired and all, I wouldn’t be so much in demand as some of the newer folks. Like you Paragon guys.

IMPORT: Yes, well, I can pull in my teammates anytime I want. They pretty much do my bidding.

DR. JACKAL: That must be nice. Mine never listened…

IMPORT: But YOU. You’re a legend, big man! You’re the original super-hero rock star! People adore you.

DR. JACKAL: Well, it’s nice to be adored, I guess.

IMPORT: You must be quite used to it by now.

DR. JACKAL: (Laughter) A long time ago, yeah. But I haven’t been a hot topic in quite a while.

IMPORT: Hunky and modest. Be still my heart.

DR. JACKAL: Hey, hey. Married, remember?

IMPORT: Let’s talk about that, as it’s as good a place to start as any. So the big appearance at Vanguard’s wedding in ’02 finally confirmed the rumours. So you did marry Knightsabre.

DR. JACKAL: I did.

IMPORT: Congratulations!

DR. JACKAL: (Laughter) Thanks, but that was fifteen years ago. You’re a little late, but I’ll take it.

IMPORT: And the girl disappeared right after! Wasn’t seen again until the Vanguard wedding. Where have you been hiding her?

DR. JACKAL: She retired, you know? We got married, had kids, she decided she’d had enough of the life and left it behind. I joined her a few years after.

IMPORT: Yes, but you continued to pop up from time to time after that. She went totally Jimmy Hoffa. Until she walked into that wedding, there were all manner of rumours about her whereabouts.

DR. JACKAL: My favourite was that she was actually an alien and went back to her home world to become their queen.

IMPORT: So what gives, Doc?

DR. JACKAL: Umm…it’s not something I can really talk about. Let’s just say she was definitely still on this planet, but just left the heroing stuff behind her. Vanguard’s wedding was a very special occasion for all of us, so she figured it was about time to pop her head up. Let the fans know she was still around.

IMPORT: And now she’s a super-mom.

DR. JACKAL: A very super mom.

IMPORT: So you do have kids.

DR. JACKAL: Yes.

IMPORT: How many?

DR. JACKAL: Uh…more than one, less than a hundred.

IMPORT: I see. And how old are they?

DR. JACKAL: More than one, less than a hundred.

IMPORT: You’re going to be difficult, aren’t you?

DR. JACKAL: That’s funny, my wife said the same thing at our wedding…

IMPORT: (Laughter)

DR. JACKAL: (Laughter)

IMPORT: Okay, mystery man. How’s fatherhood?

DR. JACKAL: Challenging, revelatory, heartbreaking, joyous, terrifying, amazing.

IMPORT: Boys or girls?

DR. JACKAL: Yes. One of those. Or both.

IMPORT: And how is parenting compared to say, fighting cheeky costumed brigands?

DR. JACKAL: Sometimes, I’d rather fight the brigands. They generally don’t pout and threaten to run away if they don’t get their way.

IMPORT: (Laughter) You SO have girls…

DR. JACKAL: Assume away.

IMPORT: Was retiring, marrying and reproducing the right choice?

DR. JACKAL: Definitely.

IMPORT: Wouldn’t go back and do things differently?

DR. JACKAL: No way. Well, okay, a few things, yes, but not that choice. After fifteen years, I’m still desperately in love with my wife, and I adore every minute I get with my kids.

IMPORT: All one hundred of them?

DR. JACKAL: It’s more like eighty-five…

IMPORT: And leaving Forte behind?

DR. JACKAL: You never really leave Forte behind. Forte’s not a team, it’s a family. Just because you’re not suiting up every day doesn’t mean you’re not still part of the family. We all still see each other as often as we can. We phone, we chat online, we e-mail, we get together for birthdays and weddings and holidays. And, yeah, occasionally to save the world. Once you’re in, you’re in for life.

IMPORT: Like the mafia?

DR. JACKAL: Yeah, but with less swearing and whacking. No, it was the right time for me to move on. The others—Phantasm, Mist, Phantashia—they already had. I hung around when the new folks started coming in. But after a while it was clear they knew what they were doing and didn’t need me around. I’d done my part. It was time to pass the torch. And I think you’ll agree, those who came after did just fine without us old-timers around.

IMPORT: Let’s talk a little bit about the old days, “old-timer”.

DR. JACKAL: Okay.

IMPORT: The year is 1986. Dr. Jackal has started showing up in New York City and is rapidly becoming the toast of the town.

DR. JACKAL: Oy.

IMPORT: He’s young, he’s sexy, he’s wild, and the press loves him. As do the ladies, I should add. Seems every busty wench in the five boroughs has a story about a sordid twirl with the wolfy heartthrob. How many are true, by the way, would you estimate?

DR. JACKAL: More than one, less than a hundred?

IMPORT: You were a saucy man-skank, weren’t you?

DR. JACKAL: I got around.

IMPORT: And as long as we’re confirming rumours, how about the one involving you and the Black Cat? Were you two an item?

DR. JACKAL: Briefly.

IMPORT: Ooh, a confirmation! I love it! So you two went at it like cats and dogs, then?

DR. JACKAL: You’ve been waiting to use that one, haven’t you?

IMPORT: For some time. Any truth to the rumours about Angel Flight?

DR. JACKAL: What? Who on Angel Flight?

IMPORT: The story was pretty much ALL of Angel Flight.

DR. JACKAL: Uh, no. In no way. I really didn’t even bump into them much.

IMPORT: Define “bump into”…and “much”…

DR. JACKAL: As in we moved in different circles. They hit the big stuff more. I was much more into the alley stuff. Believe me, none of them would have had any interest in the guy I was back then. They’re way too respectable, classy, and frankly, smart for that. They’re all really amazing women. And good friends of mine, now.

IMPORT: You’re sort of in-laws with them now, thanks to Vanguard.

DR. JACKAL: Yeah, something like that.

IMPORT: So we can put that rumour—

DR. JACKAL: Yes.

IMPORT: Okay. One down. But you did let those hot jewel thief twins go after letting them work off their debt to society…pelvicly?

DR. JACKAL: Ah. So you read the book?

IMPORT: Look at him squirm! (Laughter) I love it! Look on the shelf over there.

DR. JACKAL: Great…

IMPORT: “Nights of the Jackal”, first edition, autographed. Got it back in university, darling. There was quite an underground market for Forte collectibles in England back then. Very steamy reading…

DR. JACKAL: And very bad writing.

IMPORT: I thought you did a fine job. I went to bed with it several nights in a row. Dreaming of being a Jackal groupie…

DR. JACKAL: I know you probably can’t see the blushing through all the fur…

IMPORT: (Laughter) Okay, okay. Moving on.

DR. JACKAL: Thank God.

IMPORT: So after many torrid adventures in the Big Apple, Dr. Jackal suddenly up and moves across the States to Seattle. Why?

DR. JACKAL: Uh…in part due to the torrid adventures. My life was getting out of control. I was out of control. And I had some bad things happen that I can’t really get into. I needed a change, a fresh start. And an opportunity came up in Washington, and I took it.

IMPORT: Where you soon met Phantasm and Phantashia, and soon after Mist, and Forte was born.

DR. JACKAL: It was.

IMPORT: What were the early days like with the four of you?

DR. JACKAL: A hell of a lot of fun. It was a very innocent time. A lot of bad stuff happened to all of us later, but that first couple of years was a blast. Seattle loved having its own hero team, and we loved the city. Great relationship. And the four of us became instant friends. We loved working together. Well, there were Phantasm and Phantashia issues, but that friction was more fun than anything. Back then we didn’t have the high-tech base. We had this little place we cleared out and made our own. Had these tiny bedrooms Phantasm and I built, just in case any of us were too tired to go home after a big fight. I put in a hot tub. It was our little clubhouse. We had a lot of good times there.

IMPORT: And you guys became very popular.

DR. JACKAL: We did.

IMPORT: A couple of big cases popped you into the national spotlight. International soon after. People were talking about Forte as the new big thing. And talking a lot about Dr. Jackal. That’s when your real fame started.

DR. JACKAL: Yes, I’m afraid it did.

IMPORT: Turns out the old New York Jackal wasn’t quite gone, was he?

DR. JACKAL: No, seemed he was still around.

IMPORT: There was the Coors Light contract for you. The book deals. The TV show pilot on Fox…

DR. JACKAL: Which thankfully never went anywhere.

IMPORT: You know you can download the “Bloodhound” pilot on the internet now, right?

DR. JACKAL: I’ve heard.

IMPORT: Know what else you can download?

DR. JACKAL: I was waiting for that.

(Hard guitar begins, leading into the opening verse of “Doggie Style”)

DR. JACKAL: You’re killing me, Cassandra.

IMPORT: (Laughter) Rock and roll, Doc! Woo!

DR. JACKAL: I don’t really HAVE a defense, but if I had to offer one…it was the late eighties. That crap was in style for a while there.

IMPORT: “Bark at the Earth” was a crackin’ album!

DR. JACKAL: It was crap.

IMPORT: Yeah, but in a great way.

DR. JACKAL: Please make it stop.

IMPORT: (Laughter. Music stops)

DR. JACKAL: You know, I was doing a great job at getting my hands on every copy of that thing for a while, for bonfire purposes, and then the MP3 revolution came along, and now it’s just never going to go away.

IMPORT: Take a gander at this.

DR. JACKAL: Ouch.

IMPORT: (Laughter) For those of you at home, I’m showing the good Doctor a promo poster for his album, one with him in very, very tight pants. Which you can download off this site later this evening, by the by.

DR. JACKAL: The poster or the pants?

IMPORT: Look at you, you sexy beast. Kip Winger had nothing on you.

DR. JACKAL: He was almost as hairy…

IMPORT: (Laughter) So you weren’t just a super-hero. You were a writer, a product pitch-man, an actor, and a bona fide rock star.

DR. JACKAL: I’m feeling kind of bona fide right now…

IMPORT: You were a super-hero super-star. The media ate you UP, love.

DR. JACKAL: Yes, every hero aspires to be on the cover of People and Us magazines on a weekly basis. Beats the hell out of that crappy Time rag…

IMPORT: Ah, but you made Time as well. More than once.

DR. JACKAL: True.

IMPORT: So the money was rolling in.

DR. JACKAL: Yeah.

IMPORT: There weren’t really heroes making money that way back then, were there?

DR. JACKAL: No, I was pretty much the only whore in the bunch.

IMPORT: More money, more fame…more women and more problems.

DR. JACKAL: Yes. I let my life spiral again. I was not a healthy person.

IMPORT: How did your teammates feel about all that?

DR. JACKAL: Well, they put up with it. There was no jealousy, as they weren’t those kind of people. There was concern. I got a couple of reality checks along the way, mainly from Mist. They helped, to her credit, but not quite enough.

IMPORT: So what changed this time?

DR. JACKAL: Knightsabre.

IMPORT: Are you about to make me cry, you big softie?

DR. JACKAL: I’ll try not to.

IMPORT: She showed up about the same time as Shrike, Cincoflex and Vanguard. Came into Forte, came into your life.

DR. JACKAL: Yeah.

IMPORT: Love at first sight?

DR. JACKAL: Um…kind of.

IMPORT: Uh, oh! Couch for you tonight!

DR. JACKAL: (Laughter) I mean, that attraction was there, yes, but I really resisted it for a while. She was…different. Grounded. Wise. She kept trying to get close to me, but like an idiot, I was closing her out. I was still in the party life. The last thing I thought I wanted was a stable relationship with a woman who told me like it was instead of telling me what I wanted to hear.

IMPORT: But she finally got through.

DR. JACKAL: Somehow, yes. And I finally realized I was in love with her and had to choose between her and the circus. I chose her.

IMPORT: Good for you!

DR. JACKAL: Thank you. I feel the same way.

IMPORT: So was it happily ever after after that, then?

DR. JACKAL: Not even close (laughter).

IMPORT: (Laughter)

DR. JACKAL: No, we had a lot of obstacles. A lot of bad things happened. And I managed to do a lot of stupid things along the way. But we made it through. Now we’re pretty much in the happily ever after phase.

IMPORT: With all eighty-five of your children?

DR. JACKAL: Imagine what I’m going to be paying for college.

IMPORT: She’s a wonderful lady, Doc.

DR. JACKAL: You don’t have to tell me. But thank you.

IMPORT: But as you said…bad things happened.

DR. JACKAL: Yes.

IMPORT: Intercrime.

DR. JACKAL: Yes.

IMPORT: The innocent days ended.

DR. JACKAL: We got a wake-up call. The fun and games were over. We found out the hard way that we were in a very dangerous business.

IMPORT: You lost friends.

DR. JACKAL: We did.

IMPORT: How did that change things for you?

DR. JACKAL: It made me realize exactly what being a super-hero meant. Risk. Sacrifice. Loss. That there are very bad people in the world and someone has to stop them. No matter what the cost. The cost ended up being some very good people. Very good friends. Heroes, all. And we would lose more as time went on. That’s the risk. We all understand it. All of us who do this. You know what I mean.

IMPORT: Yes.

DR. JACKAL: It definitely puts things in perspective. You learn to respect the life, not treat it like an NBA contract. And you understand what those without the costumes face. The police officers, the firefighters, UNCLE. Those people don’t have the luxury of being bulletproof. But they do what they have to do because there are people out there who need them. Those of us with the powers can only hope to live up to their kind of courage.

IMPORT: Amen.

DR. JACKAL: It’s the same with those friends we’ve lost. It’s never easy to lose people you love. But their example stays with you. You want to honor what they did, and how they lived, and you become a better person because of them. I carry all of them with me. In whatever I do. They were some of the best people I’ll ever know, and I was damned lucky to have them in my life. The world was lucky to have them for the time they did. I think the world’s a better place because of all of them. I really do.

IMPORT: I do too.

(Pause)

IMPORT: You want to take a break?

DR. JACKAL: No.

IMPORT: You sure?

DR. JACKAL: Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you.

IMPORT: Okay.

(Pause)

IMPORT: Let’s talk about now, Jack.

DR. JACKAL: All right.

IMPORT: What’s Dr. Jackal’s life like these days? What are you up to?

DR. JACKAL: Um…I’m busy.

IMPORT: Doing…?

DR. JACKAL: Stuff…

IMPORT: (Laughter) Like what?

DR. JACKAL: Let’s just say I’m still out there trying to make the world a better place. Just in a different way. You don’t need spandex to change the world. There are plenty of ways. I’ve found mine.

IMPORT: And you’re happy with it?

DR. JACKAL: Very.

IMPORT: As gratifying as smacking bad guys about?

DR. JACKAL: In many ways, more. I feel like I’m making a difference. In ways you can’t just by meeting some muscle-bound jackass in the street and throwing down. I see a lot of problems in this country, and in the world. And I’m trying my best, in my own way, to fix them. You don’t see results quite as fast, but it’s still the same basic idea. Fighting for those who can’t fight for themselves. Not letting the bad people get away with it.

IMPORT: Sounds fulfilling.

DR. JACKAL: It is. I’ve got that, I’ve got amazing kids I’m raising that are turning into wonderful people, and that’s pretty damned fulfilling, too. I’d have to say I’ve finally found the place in life I’d been looking for…just turns out I was looking in all the wrong places. I’m very happy.

IMPORT: Good for you. You deserve it.

DR. JACKAL: I don’t know about that…

IMPORT: Piss off, you do. You’ve meant a lot to a lot of us, Mr. Dr. Jackal, and we’re going to be happy for you and love you whether you like it or not. Deal with it.

DR. JACKAL: All right. Love me. Whatever.

IMPORT: (Laughter) And it looks like my chat room is fairly bursting at the seams. Are you ready to take some questions, then?

DR. JACKAL: With plenty of fear and hesitation, yes.

IMPORT: Oh, good. Let’s see what our dedicated and mostly unbalanced listeners have on their minds, shall we? Um…let’s start with JackFan04.

DR. JACKAL: Okay, already, I’m a little disturbed by the name and its possible connotations, but let’s proceed.

IMPORT: He…or she…wants to know if you really traveled through time.

DR. JACKAL: Yes.

IMPORT: Really? Wow.

DR. JACKAL: Me and the original team went back to the forties and fought Nazis. And we were at Valley Forge. And ran round the middle ages. Oh, and we managed to stop the Mongol hordes from invading China. The later team did some time in the old west. There was a trip into the future there, too, but that was an alternate future. We hope. We’ve done our share of H.G. Wells adventuring.

IMPORT: Scooby_doobie wants to know if you really went to Hell.

DR. JACKAL: I’m probably going to start a theological war over this, but yes.

IMPORT: So Hell exists?

DR. JACKAL: It does.

IMPORT: Was Richard Nixon there?

DR. JACKAL: He says hi.

IMPORT: Oh! Must get to this one. Emogrrl27 wants to know which women in Forte you’ve done the deed with.

DR. JACKAL: Because that’s SO much more relevant than the existence of Hell.

IMPORT: Yeah, but this is more fun to think about. So…?

DR. JACKAL: So what?

IMPORT: So did you “bump into” anyone besides the current Mrs. Jackal? Ever have any little flings with your girl partners after a long night of thrashing?

DR. JACKAL: And we’re really dignifying this topic?

IMPORT: Come ON. What about Mist? She’s gorgeous!

DR. JACKAL: Can I say no and have us move on?

IMPORT: Only if it’s the truth.

DR. JACKAL: It’s the truth.

IMPORT: Pity. What about Phantashia?

DR. JACKAL: Cassandra—

IMPORT: Inquiring horny fans want to know, Jack!

DR. JACKAL: There’s a reason why there was no “Nights of the Jackal 2”. There are some things you don’t discuss in a public forum. Believe me, I’ve had lawyers explain that to me.

IMPORT: At least give me the Phantashia answer and we’ll stop there.

(Pause)

IMPORT: Did you just hesitate?

DR. JACKAL: No…

IMPORT: You did! You hesitated right there in front of me! I saw it!

DR. JACKAL: I did not.

IMPORT: Was there a thing?

DR. JACKAL: There was no thing.

IMPORT: Was there a moment?

DR. JACKAL: No.

IMPORT: Come ON, you’re torturing me!

DR. JACKAL: I was just thinking the same thing.

IMPORT: Oh, all right. Spoilsport. Let’s see what else we have. Um…ewww, I’m not even going to repeat THAT question…

DR. JACKAL: Thank you. And he spelled that wrong.

IMPORT: Uh…oh, here’s one. ReneeTHX would like to know how you feel about the new Forte team.

DR. JACKAL: I feel fantastic. They’re great. In every way. I’m damned proud of all of them.

IMPORT: I understand you and some of the others actually approached them after that big invasion thing of 2000 and offered them the Forte name.

DR. JACKAL: It’s true. They were that good. And there hadn’t been a Forte for a while at that point. Seattle needs a Forte. And these new guys really hit it out of the park the first time out. Saved the city, saved MY life, stopped an inter-dimensional invasion. And only two of them had even been heroes up until that week…and those guys—

IMPORT: Seahawk and Max.

DR. JACKAL: Yeah. They hadn’t been doing it that long. But they pulled together as a team against ridiculous odds. And they pulled it off. Reminded Mist and me of the first four of us. So we—we being me, Mist, Cincoflex, Electro Man, Vanguard and Anvil—told them if they were planning to stick together, we’d be proud if they’d take the Forte name.

IMPORT: And they did…and, they did.

DR. JACKAL: And look how that’s worked out.

IMPORT: And they’re all part of the Forte family now.

DR. JACKAL: Completely. Like they were always there. Good friends. I’ve worked with them a lot, and I trust every one of them with my life. They’re the real deal.

IMPORT: Digikhan wants to know what it felt like to fall off the Space Needle.

DR. JACKAL: It hurt. A lot. Thanks for the reminder.

IMPORT: I’ve been there and seen the little plaque on the spot where you landed (laughter).

DR. JACKAL: I’ve actually given in to requests to lay on the ground next to it and pose for photos for tourists.

IMPORT: (Laughter)

DR. JACKAL: That’s why I try not to get near the Needle too often.

IMPORT: TawneeK wants to know if your kids have super-powers, too.

DR. JACKAL: No comment.

IMPORT: Sorry, Tawnee, appears we’ll have to keep guessing on that one. They’d be rather easy to spot, wouldn’t they? The big hairy kids in class.

DR. JACKAL: Kids these days, they’d blend right in.

IMPORT: Ahhh. ChelseaNYC wants to know about your alternate-world friends we’ve all read about and seen from time to time. She, specifically, wants to know when Wingboy is going to be back on our world and would like to ring him up. Is the mysterious and dashing Wingboy single, Jack?

DR. JACKAL: I believe he still is, yeah. Unless a lot has happened since I last talked to him. Not sure when he’ll be back. He’s pretty busy on his own Earth with the other guys in MAGIC.

IMPORT: Do you hang out a lot with the other-world heroes? Are you friends and all?

DR. JACKAL: With some of them, yes. Good friends. Obviously, they’re on another world, so they’re not dropping in every weekend, and we’re all busy. But we have regularly scheduled summits where we all get together and swap notes and keep up relations. And play poker. And we keep up with e-mail.

IMPORT: E-mail from another world? You can do that?

DR. JACKAL: Yeah, we got it set up. Works pretty well, except you can only upload and download once a week during a pre-set window. And you occasionally get spam for male enhancement drugs from another universe.

IMPORT: Uh oh.

DR. JACKAL: What?

IMPORT: I think you opened a juicy can of worms. People in the chat are freaking at the idea of getting other-Earth pen-pals now.

DR. JACKAL: Uh… Oops. Sorry, folks. We’re not quite ready to go public on that yet.

IMPORT: So, conceivably, if we’re talking alternate Earths, you could start chatting back and forth with YOURSELF, couldn’t you?

DR. JACKAL: If you existed on that world, I suppose so.

IMPORT: That’s so mind-blowingly cool! Have you met yourself on one of these other worlds?

DR. JACKAL: Uh…definitely don’t want to talk about that.

IMPORT: Ooh, really?

DR. JACKAL: Yeah. Bad experience.

IMPORT: Fair enough. Oh, here’s someone who wants you to do another album…

DR. JACKAL: No. Next question.

IMPORT: (Laughter) Come on, Jack. I was there at the Vanguard reception and heard you singing. You’ve evolved, darling. You got me misty there.

DR. JACKAL: Thanks. I was terrified doing that.

IMPORT: I could tell (laughter). But you did beautifully.

DR. JACKAL: Obviously you weren’t there at the bachelor party karaoke moment to hear me singing Gloria Gaynor with Phantasm and Anvil.

IMPORT: ExCUSE me?

DR. JACKAL: Oops. Shared too much.

IMPORT: There was karaoke at Vanguard’s bachelor party? Why didn’t I hear about this?

DR. JACKAL: There was sort of a secret oath taken. Which I just broke. A little. On worldwide radio.

IMPORT: Who else sang?!

DR. JACKAL: I’m really not at liberty to say…

IMPORT: Did any of MY boys sing?

DR. JACKAL: Uh…yeah.

IMPORT: ACK! Who and what?!

DR. JACKAL: You’ll have to ask them yourself.

IMPORT: No! Come on!

DR. JACKAL: And there’s…four…no, six calls coming through on my Forte radio. At least I know they’re listening. Guys, don’t panic. I’m shutting up now.

IMPORT: Were there strippers?

DR. JACKAL: Next question.

IMPORT: Did Vanguard get a lap dance?

DR. JACKAL: I meant next question not involving strippers.

IMPORT: Okay. Ah. LilMissMolly87 is wondering if you’d use the Forte radio you just mentioned and call Vortex for her and ask him to marry her.

DR. JACKAL: Hmmm. That’s a first.

IMPORT: Come on! Hook the girl up!

DR. JACKAL: Well, all right. No promises. Hold on.

(Pause)

DR. JACKAL: Vortex? Jack here. Are you listening…? No? Hey, thanks for your support, rookie. Yeah, listen, this girl Molly just wrote in and asked me to ask if you’ll marry her. Yes, marry. You’re sure? Seems like a very nice girl. Good grammar and punctuation and everything. Uh huh. Okay. I’ll tell her. All right. Okay. You go back to not listening to my interview now. Yeah, whatever. Bye, bye.

IMPORT: (Laughter)

DR. JACKAL: Sorry, Molly. Vortex sincerely thanks you for your interest, but he’s afraid he’s kind of involved right now. Between you and me, I think he’s just in denial and really looking for a hunky construction worker to light up his life, but that’s just speculation. Either way, keep looking. Your hero is out there, my dear.

IMPORT: He’s going to love you for that.

DR. JACKAL: That’s what he gets for not listening.

IMPORT: KayteeBlue asks who your least favourite super-villain—

DR. JACKAL: The Disruptor.

IMPORT: That easy, huh?

DR. JACKAL: God, what a dickhead.

IMPORT: (Laughter) That bad?

DR. JACKAL: Don’t get me started on him. Seriously. I’ll need a Tums. Let’s drive on.

IMPORT: Ah, here’s a VERY good question. K9Calvin wants to know what it was like to play on stage with the Rolling Stones.

DR. JACKAL: Oh, that IS a good one.

IMPORT: Tell all, tell all.

DR. JACKAL: Well, I mean, what you can you say? It’s the Stones. To get a chance to get up on stage at a big stadium show—like me and Shrike got to—with absolute living legends of music, and jam with them, no less? Indescribable. Still one of the biggest highlights of my life, and I’ve had a lot of highlights.

IMPORT: You guys did save their lives. It was the least they could do.

DR. JACKAL: Still, it was very cool of them. Playing guitar next to Keith Richards while Shrike was singing with Mick. You’re not a super-hero when that’s going on. You’re a giddy fan. It was nuts.

IMPORT: And did you get to party with the boys after the show?

DR. JACKAL: Got to put on my “no comment” hat again.

IMPORT: (Laughter) Okay, here’s one I wasn’t expecting. But it goes back to your comment about your wife. XfileSurfer wants to know if anyone ever on Forte is an alien?

DR. JACKAL: No, no aliens. At least not that we know of. Not yet. Maybe we’ll get one one of these days. I know a number of aliens I have a lot of respect for—

IMPORT: As do I.

DR. JACKAL: --and based on them, I think we could use one. It might take a few of your Earth years, but…oops, did I say that out loud?

IMPORT: Uh oh. You’re not planning to probe me, are you?

DR. JACKAL: Nah, we’re mainly interested in cattle. God knows why.

IMPORT: Hey, LakerHater55 wants to know when we’re going to see another one of those smashing super-hero basketball games you and Anvil used to put together.

DR. JACKAL: Oh, yeah. It has been a while.

IMPORT: Those were great fun.

DR. JACKAL: I agree. And Anvil takes his basketball very seriously. Uh, we’ll have to talk about that. I think Anvil probably hasn’t been thinking about it much because, well, you know, he’s gotten really OLD and I’m sure he’s got this fear of breaking a hip or something getting out there against me on the floor again.

IMPORT: Don’t mess with my man Anvil!

DR. JACKAL: Sorry, forgot the old fart is pals with you Paragons. Do you handle it okay when he, like, forgets your names or what year is it or sometimes where he’s even at?

IMPORT: You’re terrible.

DR. JACKAL: Just getting the old smack-talk going again. In case there’s a game in our future. You know, psychomological warfare and all…

(Pause)

IMPORT: Um…you know, I’ve got an e-mail here. I’m just going to read this one to you, if that’s okay.

DR. JACKAL: All right.

IMPORT: This is from someone named SeattleSandy.

DR. JACKAL: Ah, a local girl. Always good to hear from those.

IMPORT: Here’s what she writes. Doctor: I just wanted to take this chance to thank you for something. I’ve been wanting to for a long time. When I was a little girl living in Seattle, there was a fire in our apartment building. It wasn’t a normal fire. An arsonist was setting them, as you might recall, a psychopath who was trying to burn up as many people as possible to impress the Devil or whatever it was he was trying to do.

DR. JACKAL: Oh, my God. I remember that. That guy. That must have been about ’88.

IMPORT: The whole building had gone up in flames. A floor above had collapsed and trapped me in my room. My parents tell me that firefighters had to drag them out of there screaming, because they didn’t want to leave without me. My mother tells me my Dad even punched a fireman. But the whole floor was engulfed and going fast. Firefighters were trying, but they couldn’t get to me. I remember being terrified and crying and coughing and wanting my mother. But I was all alone. And I couldn’t get out. And then my bedroom wall smashed in when you came through it. You landed on my floor, and your fur was on fire, but you just patted it out like it was nothing and you were completely focused on me. You jumped up and grabbed a beam that was on fire and threw it out of your way like it was made of balsa. You ran up to me and grabbed me and lifted me up, too, like I was as light as air. I was still scared and crying. But you looked at me, and you smiled, and you said everything was going to be all right. And I just believed you. You ran with me and jumped through the hole you’d made. We were seven stories up. I remember suddenly being out of the smoke, and breathing cold air and seeing the stars, as we fell. And because you told me it was going to be all right, I wasn’t afraid. You held me tight as we landed on the street, and your legs took the impact easily. We were down, and out of the building, and out of the danger. Firefighters came running over. As they did, you looked at me, and smiled again, and you winked at me. Then you handed me to a fireman and ran back to that burning building and you jumped right back in to look for more people. My parents ran up and grabbed me and hugged me and we all cried. They took me to an ambulance so paramedics could check me out. I kept watching the building, though, looking for you. I kept seeing you come out with more and more people, saving more and more lives, just like you saved mine.

(Pause)

IMPORT: I was six years old then. I’m twenty-three now. I’m a medical student at UW. I’m working my way toward oncology. I’m married, and we hope to have kids soon, but not until I’m done with school. Ever since I was a little girl, since that day, I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to save lives. It took me a while to find out how I was going to do it, but I finally did, and now I’m looking forward to a long career of trying to do just that. And when I meet a patient who’s scared and feeling alone and doesn’t know what’s coming next, I hope to have the courage, and the confidence, to tell them that everything’s going to be all right.

(Pause)

IMPORT: Thank you, Dr. Jackal, for saving my life. And for giving me the chance, and the inspiration, to take that gift and use it to help others. You will always be my hero, and seeing your picture in a magazine or your face on TV will always make me feel like that little girl again, safe in your arms, believing in the impossible, believing that there’s always hope, no matter how dark things seem. I still believe everything’s going to be all right. And I always will. Because of you. With love and gratitude, Sandy.

(Pause)

IMPORT: The Doctor’s going to need a minute.

(Pause)

IMPORT: Jesus, I am too (laughter). God. Um…Sandy, what can I say? Thank you so much for sharing that with not only the Doctor but with all of us. I think it’s a perfect reminder of why we all miss and love him. Because it wasn’t the records or the books or the silly beer commercials. It was because he was our hero. Because beneath the frat boy antics and the penchant for curvy super-models, we all knew there was the heart of a true champion. He proved it to us over and over. And he sacrificed, for all of us. And he saved every one of us. A few times, actually. WITH a little help from his friends. And I think we all feel the same way you do, Sandy, in our own ways.

(Pause)

IMPORT: All right, Jack?

(Pause)

IMPORT: You sure?

(Pause)

DR. JACKAL: Sandy, I, uh… I want to thank YOU. For saying what you said. Sometimes when you get older, and you’re looking back, you tend to remember the broad strokes. The big stuff. The epic battles, the world-changing moments. But you can forget that the little things can change the world, too. I am so very happy to hear what you’ve done with your life, and it makes me…so very proud you can’t imagine. I’ve done a lot of things wrong in my life. Thank you for reminding me that I did a few things right. I’m glad that your hero is Dr. Jackal, but I gotta tell you, my new hero is Dr. Sandy. And I know I’m not going to be the only one. Thank you.

(Pause)

IMPORT: Do you need a hug? (laughter)

DR. JACKAL: (Laughter) I think I’m okay.

IMPORT: Well, you’re getting one anyway, so too bad.

DR. JACKAL: (Laughter)

IMPORT: (Laughter)

(Pause)

IMPORT: Well. I was GOING to say that that was the perfect way to wrap up our long-awaited talk with the Doc, but I see one more question that bears asking. DweebXXR wishes to know…WHEN will Dr. Jackal be coming BACK to us? (laughter)

DR. JACKAL: (Laughter) Well, Dweeb—and I apologize that your name makes me sound like I’m insulting you when I’m answering—as I said, I’m on a new path, and still out there fighting the good fight in my own way. And I’ve got a family, now, and they need me around, too. And there’s a whole new generation of heroes out there doing the dance just fine. But that being said, I’m not in the dirt just yet, so whenever you really need me, I’ll be around.

IMPORT: We’ll take it (laughter).

DR. JACKAL: (Laughter) I’m glad.

IMPORT: Thank you SO much, Jack, for coming in to chat with me.

DR. JACKAL: It was a pleasure, Cassandra. Thank you for annoying me for so long that I finally had to give in.

IMPORT: And that was MY pleasure. (Laughter) Best of luck with everything, Doc.

DR. JACKAL: Thanks, Cassandra. And everyone.