"Hotline 3: 976-FORTE"
by
Michael O'Connell
|
Forte/Seattle PD Hotline
425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Uh…hey! Who’s…uh…who’s this? NIGHTSABLE: This is Nightsable. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): (MUFFLED) Dude, it’s fucking Nightsable! 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): (MUFFLED) No shit! NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): (WHISPERING) We got one! Get Davis in here! Quick! DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Yes! DAVIIIIIS!!! 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Uh, hey, Nightsable. How’s it going? NIGHTSABLE: Going good. Who’s this? 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): I’m Ricky. NIGHTSABLE: Hi, Ricky. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Hi. NIGHTSABLE: Who’s that with you, Ricky? 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): He’s Todd. NIGHTSABLE: (LAUGHTER) Hi, Todd. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): (MUFFLED) She says hi! 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): (MUFFLED) Let me talk to her! 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): (MUFFLED). No! Piss off! 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): (MUFFLED) Dude, come on! NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Hurry! DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Davis!!! Come ON!! 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): So, uh, what’s up? NIGHTSABLE: Nothin’. What are you guys doing? 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Just talking to you. Damn, you got a sweet voice. NIGHTSABLE: Well, thank you. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Thank YOU. NIGHTSABLE: Um, hang on a sec, Ricky, okay? 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Yeah, sure. Anything you say, baby. NIGHTSABLE: Okay. Be right back. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): All right. NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): He called me ‘baby’. Ewww. RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): What’s going— DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): We got one! You gotta do it! RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Oh, no… DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Come on! You said you would! Rock up! 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): (MUFFLED) She put me on hold. 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): (MUFFLED) It’s really her? 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): (MUFFLED). Hell, yes! 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): (MUFFLED) Daaamn! RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Girls, really, don’t you think… DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Davis, you promised! You have to! NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Come on! Please? DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Please, Davis? Please? NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Please? RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): (SIGHING) This is a bad idea. DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Yes!! 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): (MUFFLED) Do they have, like, hold music, or…? 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): (MUFFLED) No, it’s just quiet. Now shut up! NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Okay, hang on, I have to get a bead. Let me focus. DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): This is gonna be great! RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Yeah, I’m sure it will… NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): (PAUSE) Okay, got ‘em. DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Send him! NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Wait, let me get them back on the phone. DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Ooh, let me hear, let me hear! NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Okay. (LAUGHTER). NIGHTSABLE: Hi, Ricky? 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Hey, there. NIGHTSABLE: Hi again. Sorry about that. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): No sweat. So what are you doing? NIGHTSABLE: Just hanging out. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Yeah, us too. NIGHTSABLE: You guys know you’re not supposed to be calling this number, right? 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Yeah…but we just had to. NIGHTSABLE: You know you can get into a lot of trouble doing this? 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Aw, come on. You wouldn’t turn us in, baby. Not when we just want to hear your sweet voice. NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): I’m now going to gag. DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): (LAUGHTER). NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Are you ready, Davis? RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Not really. DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): You promised! RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): I know. NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Okay, get ready. DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Do the lava eyes thing! Be tall! You can do it! RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Great. NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Okay, okay, shhhh. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): You there, baby? NIGHTSABLE: Yeah, I’m here. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): So, you in your costume, or… NIGHTSABLE: Yeah, I’m in my costume. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Aw, that’s too bad. NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Oh, PLEASE do this right, Davis. DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): They’re getting sleazy with her now. Don’t let them get away with that. Step it up, big guy. RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): I’ll do my best. NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): You’re the coolest, Davis. DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): You ARE. RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Right, right. NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Okay, here we go. DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Shhh, shhh! 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Still there? NIGHTSABLE: Uh huh. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): So don’t you, like, take off the threads when you get home? NIGHTSABLE: Well, yeah, I don’t sleep in it. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Well, you could take it off now. NIGHTSABLE: I could? 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Yeah, get comfortable. So we can talk. NIGHTSABLE: You think I should? 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Oh, DEFinately. NIGHTSABLE: Well, I mean, I’d really like to… 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Then do it. It’s okay. NIGHTSABLE: But I really can’t right now. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Sure you can. NIGHTSABLE: No, it’s not a good time. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1): Why not? NIGHTSABLE: I’m not here alone right now. 425-856-3265 (BACKGROUND): (PORTAL OPENING LOUDLY) 425-856-3265 (male voice 1 and male voice 2) (BACKGROUND) : JESUS!!!! 425-856-3265 (BACKGROUND): (PHONE DROPPING) DYNA GIRL AND NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): (HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER). 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): Your call woke me up. 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): (BARELY AUDIBLE) oh shit… DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER): Oh my GAAAAHHD! NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): (HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER) 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): I was sleeping. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Dude, uh…I…uh…we…uh… 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): I was having a good dream. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Really, we didn’t mean to… 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): I get grumpy when people wake me up. I don’t like it. It makes me…unsociable. 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): Oh shit. DYNA GIRL AND NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): (HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER) 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Look, man, really we… 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): Give me the phone number. Right now. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Yeah, sure, uh, dude, I’m really…yeah, he’s got it. 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): Then you give it to me. Please. 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): I… 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Dude, fucking give it to him!!! DYNA GIRL AND NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): (SCREAMING LAUGHTER) 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): Yeah, sure! Here, man! Take it! 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): Thank you. 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): Uh…yeah… 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): Are there any other copies? 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): No! I fuckin’ swear! That’s it! 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): If you’re lying, I will come back. When YOU’RE sleeping. Then you’ll know what being rudely awakened is like, too. NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): (BREATHLESS LAUGHTER) DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER): (LAUGHTER) 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): I’m not lying! That’s it! 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): Okay. Now. Don’t ever do anything like this again. DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER): Yeah! Jackholes. NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): (LAUGHTER) 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): We won’t! Swear! For real, dude! 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): And learn some respect for women. Nightsable’s a very nice girl. Disrespect for women…agitates me. NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Awwww… DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER): (LAUGHTER) 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): We’re sorry. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Yeah, truly, man. We didn’t mean anything. 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): I’ll tell her you said so. And tone down the language. Profanity screams ignorance. Don’t be ignorant. NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): (GIGGLING) DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER): (LAUGHTER) 425-856-3265 (male voice 1 and male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): Yes, sir. 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): Either of you in college? 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): No, sir. 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): Go to college. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Um…okay. DYNA GIRL AND NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): (HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER) 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): I mean it. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Uh…right now? 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): Next semester. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Okay. DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER): (BREATHLESSLY) If he says “Call me Mr. Tibbs” I’m gonna piss my pants! NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): (HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER) 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): I’ll be checking. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Okay. 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): And lay off the videogames. Read a book. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Yes, sir. 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): All right. I’m going back to sleep now. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Okay. 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): Don’t make me come back. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1 and male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): No, sir. 425-856-3265 (Rainier) (BACKGROUND): Good. Okay. Good night. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Uh…good night. (PAUSE) (MUTED TO CALLER) (PORTAL OPENING AND CLOSING) DYNA GIRL AND NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): (LAUGHTER, CLAPPING, CHEERING). RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): All right, all right… 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): (BARELY AUDIBLE, SHAKING VOICE) Oh shit, dude. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): (BARELY AUDIBLE) Holy shit. NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): You are the GREATEST, Davis!! (LAUGHTER). My hero! DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): That was amazing!!! (LAUGHTER) NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): You were perfect!! RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Okay, thank you… NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): Come here, you! DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): We love you, Davis! NIGHTSABLE (MUTED TO CALLER): We do! DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): You’re the best! RAINIER (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): Can I go back to my research now? 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): I think I shit my fucking pants. 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Don’t swear! 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): Shit! I mean… 425-856-3265 (male voice 1) (BACKGROUND): Oh, Jesus... The phone! Hang up the phone! 425-856-3265 (male voice 2) (BACKGROUND): Oh, God…! DYNA GIRL (MUTED TO CALLER) (BACKGROUND): I can’t believe— (CALL TERMINATES) END.
|
