03:47 AM PST
**** CHILL has entered chat room
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CHILL: hi. RAINIER: Hello, Chill. I didn’t think anyone
else was on. CHILL: i just signed on to look up some info
in the database. some angel flight biz now that the worlds back
to normal. thought id do it over breakfast. RAINIER: That’s right. It’s morning
in New York. CHILL: yeah. and its pretty late in seattle. RAINIER: Yes, it is. I’m just up late. CHILL: and i logged in and noticed there was
someone sitting all alone in the chat room. RAINIER: Sorry. That must look a little strange.
Ha ha. I was just getting ready to sign off. CHILL: no its not strange. i understand. RAINIER: Understand what? CHILL: i miss her too. RAINIER: I’m that obvious, huh? CHILL: theres no mystery. its normal. RAINIER: What’s normal? CHILL: you miss her. im guessing you two used
to talk in here. RAINIER: We did. When she was off doing her thing.
Between our silly fights when she’d leave again. We’d
end up back here and talk it out. Sometimes. Sometimes she’d
just show up at my front door again weeks later and we’d
fix things in person. CHILL: its natural youd want to come here. RAINIER: It’s natural that I’d be
sitting in a chat room like a fool waiting for her name to pop
up on the screen like this? CHILL: yes. RAINIER: Doesn’t sound very natural. It
sounds pretty ridiculous when you say it out loud. CHILL: its not. you miss her and this is somewhere
you feel close to her. RAINIER: It still feels foolish. CHILL: its not. i know we dont know each other
very well davis. but we have something in common. we both loved
her a lot. and we both wish she was still here to talk to. RAINIER: I know. Thank you. CHILL: she was my friend. she could drive me
crazy sometimes but most of the time we laughed a lot and shared
a lot of stuff. mostly in the hot tub. she really loved that hot
tub. lol. RAINIER: Ha ha. She did. CHILL: i mostly stayed outside the tub when we
were hanging there. she hated how id make the water cold. RAINIER: Ha ha. CHILL: but those are some of my favorite memories
of her. just hanging out. she was such a fun person. so free.
i was going through a lot back then. still dealing with my accident
and my powers. she always made me feel like i was okay. and like
i could still be myself even if I was all blue and freaky. RAINIER: I know what you mean. She was herself,
all the time. She made you feel like it was okay for you to be
that way, too. CHILL: exactly. she had a lot of anger in her.
but she had such a big heart too. being around her felt good. RAINIER: It did. CHILL: i wish id gotten to be around her after
she found her peace. i talked to her. on the phone and on the
radio. she was so happy and i was so happy for her. RAINIER: We should all be so lucky to have it
happen to us, whatever happened to her on that visionquest. CHILL: i know. but it wasnt just that. it was
you davis. im sorry i dont want to hurt you by saying this. but
you made her so happy. i could hear it when she talked about you.
she loved you so much. RAINIER: Thank you. CHILL: you made her whole. and you made the last
part of her life so good. that makes me sad but it makes me happy
too. after all that time she was finally happy. because of you. CHILL: are you okay? RAINIER: I am. And thank you again. CHILL: its okay to miss her. it hurts but its
part of the process. itll hurt less soon. i promise. RAINIER: It’s hard for me to imagine that
right now. CHILL: i know. ive been there. you know all about
my parents right? RAINIER: I do. I’m sorry. CHILL: thank you. i was a mess. I blamed myself.
i missed them so much. i wanted to die. if it wasnt for jack finding
me i dont know what would have happened to me. and i had a lot
of good friends to help me heal. eclipse. all the angels. vanguard.
friends help a lot. i hope youre letting yours help you. RAINIER: They’re helping, yes. As much
as they can. CHILL: thats good. its important not to lock
youself away. its okay to let people in. RAINIER: I do blame myself. CHILL: you cant davis. please dont. RAINIER: I could have done something different.
I could have fought smarter. There are so many variables I can
see now, so many ways I could have changed things. I could have
ended it. CHILL: davis no. you couldnt have. honey hed
just taken out two whole hero teams. two of those heroes almost
died. you were one guy against a god. i dont care how strong you
are. you were so brave and you did everything you could. RAINIER: It wasn’t enough. If I hadn’t
gone down she could have gotten away. CHILL: she never would have left you. you know
that. RAINIER: I know that very well. I’ve heard
the recording. The radio call between her and Tinker that day.
Right at the end. I’ve played it dozens of times. Tinker
begged her to get away. But she wouldn’t. She said she wouldn’t
leave me. CHILL: honey RAINIER: She could have ran. She stayed for me.
And he killed her. CHILL: he would have killed you. she knew that.
you would have done the same thing for her davis. you loved each
other. so you know she had to. RAINIER: But I couldn’t do that for her.
I was too weak. I lost consciousness. And I got it back just in
time to watch him murder her right in front of me. And the bastard
let me live so I’d have to live with knowing that. That
I was that close and couldn’t stop him from doing it. RAINIER: I’m sorry. I’m upsetting
you. CHILL: no no. its okay. you need to say these
things. but you need to know that it was her choice. and she did
it because she loved you and wanted you to go on. you know how
she was. how insulated. how she wouldnt let anyone get close to
her. she was tough but inside she was so afraid of getting hurt.
you were the one she finally let in. she let herself love you
and she loved you so much that nothing else mattered not even
herself. i didnt know she had that in her. i bet she didnt either.
but she died loving you with her whole heart. i know that hurts.
god i know. it was her gift to you. RAINIER: I still can’t sleep. Sometimes
I just forget how to breathe. It’s not right that she’s
not here with me. CHILL: she’s in a better place honey. i
know thats what people say, but you know it for a fact. shes okay. RAINIER: I just wish I was there with her. CHILL: shes where she was meant to be. You were
meant to be here. with us. that hurts but its true. and I know.
i wish she was still here too. but she had to move on. RAINIER: Who says? Who makes these rules? Why
do these would-be gods get to make these decisions for us? What
gives them the right? CHILL: i dont know. i just know wherever she
is she misses you too. but shes happy that youre okay. and she
wants you to be happy too. RAINIER: It would be nice if she’d drop
in and let me know that. You know? CHILL: i know. im sorry. davis youre going to
be okay. i know thats hard to imagine because it feels like being
okay is betraying her. ive been there. but these people weve lost
want us to go on with our lives. they know we have to mourn for
a while. but they want us to have happy peaceful lives and honor
them by making the most of them. RAINIER: Do any of us in this business know what
happy, peaceful lives are like? CHILL: not as much as some people. but we do.
what we do is important. we make other peoples lives better. but
we have to have our own lives too. RAINIER: I don’t even know what mine is
anymore. CHILL: its being the best you that you can be.
getting on with your research and your goals. being the hero that
seattle and the world needs and loves. youre going to learn to
breathe again. i promise. and while youre getting on with your
terrific life youre going to be able to start thinking about her
without it hurting. thinking about her and smiling. RAINIER: I hear what you’re saying. It’s
just hard to see it. CHILL: well just trust that ive been there so
i know what im talking about. and im here for you. whenever you
want to talk. someone who knows what youre going through. anytime
day or night. RAINIER: Thank you for that. CHILL: i mean it. i may be angel flight but my
forte radios always with me. people helped me when i needed it
and id love to do the same for you. youre not alone davis. okay? RAINIER: Okay. CHILL: maybe its too soon in our friendship to
say it but im going to say i love you anyway. :) RAINIER: Ha ha. Okay. CHILL: im going to be in town in a couple of
weeks. would you have dinner with me? RAINIER: Sure. I’d like that. CHILL: im glad. we havent had time to hang out.
itll be fun. RAINIER: I agree. That sounds nice. CHILL: to me too. RAINIER: Well, I’d better let you go. You’ve
got your database work, and I should try to get some sleep. But
thank you, Chill, for coming in here. CHILL: its kyra. RAINIER: Thank you, Kyra. CHILL: anytime davis. i hope i helped. a little
maybe? RAINIER: Yes, you did. CHILL: good. :) you get some sleep big guy. RAINIER: No promises, but I’ll try. CHILL: call me okay? I mean it. whenever. id
love to chat. RAINIER: I will. You have a good morning, Kyra.
CHILL: and sweet dreams to you davis. good night. RAINIER: Good night. CHILL: :)
**** RAINIER has left chat room ****
**** CHILL has left chat room ****
**** END OF CHAT SESSION ****
